


we’ve got those winter blues

by aboutfivebees



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Family, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), technoblade’s harsh words on the SBI do not exist here this is a utopian society, techno’s harsh words on the SBI don’t exist here this is a utopian society, well it’s adopted/found family but STILL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aboutfivebees/pseuds/aboutfivebees
Summary: Tommy kneeled beside his brother, his hand hovering over his shoulder as Techno struggled to breathe, small whimpers escaping him with each gasp of arctic air.“I’ve never…” Techno’s hands dug into the snow with a small crunch. “I’ve never been helpless before, Tommy.”Or where Techno isn’t as unfazed by the whole execution business as he would have expected, and Tommy has to comfort his brother for a change.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 859





	we’ve got those winter blues

**Author's Note:**

> me going “i mean maybe i am NT idk”  
> also me “hyperfixates on writing 2000 of this words for 2 straight hours until 2am.” ya boy was already on 5 hours of sleep but revolution waits for no man 🤪🤪 happy holidays me
> 
> this is my first mcyt writing and was really more a practice to see if i could get the characters down but im pretty pleased with this so if you like it I’d love some feedback bc im still relatively new to the dsmp. thanks! :) hope you like it
> 
> warnings:  
> mentions of canon violence, mentions of dream’s manipulation, features flashbacks and panic attacks

“So… who’s your _least_ favourite woman?” 

Techno heaved his axe over his shoulder with a grunt as the spruce tree he’d been working at fell to the ground. The gear he made for his new _raccoon_ had ended up using all his netherite, so he’s going to need to restock the hoard incase of an emergency. Like if he gets executed again. Or picks up another hitchhiker, god forbid.

“Whichever one made you, Tommy.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Wait, Tommy, how have you not even made a dent in that tree yet? I’ve seen ants carry more wood than that.” Tommy spluttered, dropping his barely used axe to point a finger at Techno indignantly. The outburst could have been somewhat more intimidating if he wasn’t drowning in the oversized hunting furs Techno lent him, the fit made even worse by his malnourishment.

“I’m no ant! You put me on _firewood_ duty, Technoblade, sorry if I’m feeling a bit- a little bit put out, big man.”

“Firewood’s very important.”

“It’s a child’s work.” Tommy kicked a patch of snow in front of him impudently, his arms crossed.

Techno’s ear twitched. “Well if it’s so easy, then why can’t I see you _doing it,_ Tommy _?_ ” 

“Hey, fuck you, you fucking- pig in a blanket! Just get your own firewood.”

Techno swore under his breath. “God- well, have fun freezin’ to death, freeloader.” He started to chop the log into smaller fragments to bring home. He really does hate spruce wood, awkward to cut and the logs are way too thin. But anytime he even looks in the direction of Tommy and Wilbur’s oak forest, the kid goes as white as a sheet, so it’s safer overall to settle for this, even if Tommy insists it’s fine.

Although, he is considering threatening the ‘prime log’ before they head back to see if it’ll get Tommy to stop slacking on firewood duty.

Tommy leant down to grab his axe again, still making no move to use it. “Well, no, we can just swap jobs, right? I’ll get logs for beds and you can go stick hunting.” 

“Oh no no no, if you wanna donate to the bed supplies, you’ll make do with sleeping on the floor, alright? You’re already sleeping on a stolen netherite bed, you’re lucky I’m letting you keep it at all.”

Tommy huffed. “Huh. Is that why it’s so uncomfortable? Techno! Fix my bed!”

“Are- are you kidding me? No!”

Techno frowned loudly, rubbing one hand down his face in exasperation. At least he’s finishing up now. Just need to drag all this back now. 

“Drop your shield on the floor.” He said offhandedly, briefly glancing up at Tommy. Tommy’s mouth opened and closed a few times as he reached to his back for the shield before he seemed to catch himself, pulling it to his chest.

“I- What? No, fuck you, this is my shield!”

“I mean, no, Phil made it for _me_ , so-“ Techno dumped his own shield into the snow, reaching into his bag to look for his string.

“N-No it’s mine! What do you want it for, to- to burn it? To blow it up?” His arms curled around it defensively. Techno looked up, a dry remark in his tongue only to pause at the frantic look in Tommy’s eyes. This wasn’t an immature outburst to antagonise him, this was… something else.

Techno sniffed. “To… carry the wood?” The two stare at each other for a moment. Tommy’s face was already flushed from the cold, but seemed to colour even deeper as he reluctantly dropped the shield, pattern facing up.

“I-I. Right. Sorry.” Tommy said sheepishly.

Techno hummed in response, deciding to let him keep his dignity. “Eh, it’s fine. You’re fine. If you won’t chop wood you may as well be my carrier mule.”

As he flipped Tommy’s shield over and connected it to his own with string, making a couple of crude sleighs, his thoughts wondered. Tommy mentioned Dream taking his stuff from him, is that what caused such an adverse response? It wasn’t only that he didn’t want to, Tommy was _afraid_ of dropping his shield. The academic in Techno nearly snorted at the symbolism.

He just wished that he knew what had happened at Logstedshire, even if it was just second hand from Ghostbur. He can’t exactly trust Tommy’s word given that he’s suddenly started hero-worshipping _Dream_ of all people, and since the only other person that knows the full extent of what went on _is_ Dream, Techno has to piece it together himself.

The immediate image is that Dream had somewhat traumatised his brother. That much is… pretty clear. Since no one was visiting Tommy it made him an easy target to manipulation, and no one knows how to take advantage of a bad situation like Dream does. Why Dream did it and how Dream did it, now that is much more valuable information to him. At least if he knew how then he could avoid triggering Tommy when they’re doing trivial things like cutting wood.

Loading up the shields, Techno went over what he knew for sure.

-L’Manburg exiled Tommy.

-Tommy is afraid of Dream.

-Tommy is thankful for Dream.

-Ghostbur disappeared for over a week on Dream’s orders and almost ‘melted’ in the snow.

-Tommy was basically alone for the entirety of his exile.

-Techno didn’t visit his brothers after day one, and when he did it was to taunt them.

-Logsted was blown up by Dream.

-L’manburg _and_ Dream know where Techno lives, and know enough about what he cares about to have good leverage.

-Phil is still under house arrest in L’Manburg for helping Techno.

-L’manburg hasn’t changed, if what Ranboo said had any truth to it, nevermind the execution.

-Technoblade almost died.

-Technoblade gave into the voices.

-Technoblade needs to protect whatever’s left of his family, by any means necessary.

Huh. Maybe he should make a separate notebook for jotting down his thought processes.

Looking up from his work, he let out a gentle smile. Tommy was actually trying to chop down a tree! A small one, as good as a bush really. Oh well, he supposes this is progress. The prime log lives, for now.

Getting to his feet, he walked over to another tree. Looked a little battered, which was good for cutting but not really much else. If his retirement location is prone to blizzards, he’ll be mad. Hauling back the axe, he swung it into the trunk, and from high, high up, he heard a snap.

Techno tilted his head up to see something falling towards him at high speeds, and let out a shrill shriek against his will, a rapid terror filling him as the anvil released.

_Anvil? What?_

He looked back down and suddenly he was standing in L’Manburg, looking through a cage at four bloodthirsty hunters and Philza who stood watching in his doorway in helpless horror as his son was sentenced to death.

It’s night somehow and it seems far too cold for it to be L’Manburg, but he’s so _scared_ and for some reason he’s showing it. He’s never died before, never lost a life, but somehow he knows _exactly_ what it would feel like, to be killed, to be crushed by an anvil, the pain, the humiliation, to be fucking executed in front of an entire country, in front of his brother, in front of his _father_.

Two months ago and maybe a hundred blocks behind him, Tubbo was in a box, and Techno at the trigger. Tubbo is there now, looking at him as Punz lays some TNT, and he’s far too young to hold such hatred in his eyes.

Quackity was the one who pulled the lever, his face drawn into a cruel smile but being completely clean of blood. Techno killed him, right?

_I have a pickaxe, and I’ll put it through your TEETH!_

Right?

It’s close, it’s so close, it’s going to hit him, going to kill him. Time’s slowed so much now and he can’t even _move_ . The voices are screaming at him to run, to escape, to kill, but somehow the whistling of the anvil breaks through all of it. Dream showed him the totems, where the _fuck_ did he put them? It’s dropping, but he doesn’t have the totem, he doesn’t have the totem, he doesn’t _have fucking anything, he’s-_

Something hits him square on the forehead and Technoblade collapses to the ground.

—

Tommy glowered at the iron axe in his hands, his own withered reflection glaring back at him. Since Techno lost the Axe of Peace, he got to use the diamond axe and Tommy was left with whatever scraps he had lying around. Which was just unfair: he knows for a fact the man has enough diamonds spare to make dozens of them! A hoarder through and through; Tommy was almost afraid when he got caught with his gold blocks.

Almost. Tommy’s not afraid of anything.

dō̶̩ñ̶̗’̸̗̃t̴̼̚ .̸̧͊...̸͇̎ ̸͚̓d̸͖́o ̷̨̏t̴̛̬h̵̲́a̶̹̕t̵̬̓

Fuck, but he freaked out in front of _Technoblade_ ! Of all people, and over a shield! There’s no way he’s not being judged for that. The guy didn’t say anything, but Tommy can’t help but feel embarrassed, so much that he’s actually _working_ to keep his mind off of it.

Maybe he should be going for a bigger redemption tree, but he doesn’t want Techno to think he’s trying too hard, that’d be even more embarrassing!

Techno’s gotten a few trees already, the tryhard, Tommy can hear him making his way to a new one already. He’s not going to feel guilty about slacking though, chopping down trees isn’t how he rolls. Never mind _spruce_ logs. Terrible. He’s only working now, so no one can yell at him! He’s doing all the heavy lifting, Techno is leeching off of _him._

He… hasn’t really hit the tree yet, has he?

With an exaggerated groan, he taps the nearest tree branch with the butt of the axe. Chop chop. Wood time. Oak supremacy. Bark ba- _oh holy fucking shit, what’s that screaming?_

Tommy’s procrastination is cut short by the terrified squeal he hears from behind him, followed by a short series of smaller cries. Why isn’t Techno covering him? Brandishing the axe, he spun around with wide eyes.

Lying on the ground with a hand shielded over his head was Technoblade, a large branch lying next to him and the diamond axe abandoned in the snow. His brother was panting heavily, small whimpers still escaping him, but otherwise the two were alone. Looking at the branch, the tree and then his brother, he quickly pieced together what had happened.

Did… did _Technoblade_ make those sounds?

Tommy snorted once, and then burst into laughter, resting a hand on his knee as he doubled over.

“Haha, are you- are you _serious,_ Technoblade?! Wow, Mr- haha- Mr big and hard over here, haha, the Blade, fuckin’ pig, oh my god, over a fucking branch, hahaha!” The cold air stung as it hit the back of his throat, making him breathless, but when his brother didn’t respond, he felt his laughter sober up pretty quickly. 

Tommy paused. “Tech-Technoblade?” 

Was he unconscious? No, he can’t be, he’s holding himself up slightly. “Is- Is something wrong?”

The only response he got were more pained gasps, the cold air probably making it harder for Techno to breathe, never mind the panic attack. The panic attack. Oh my god, is _Techno_ having a panic attack. What the hell is he supposed to do here?

How does he fix this? What would Philza do? Tommy remembers being small and being scared, hiding in the comfort of his surrogate father’s arms, the harshness of the world hidden from him.

Kneeling down in front of Techno cautiously, Tommy reached a shaking hand over, only to yank it back as Techno’s head shot upwards, his teary gaze unfocused but fierce. Okay, so no touching then! Probably for the best! Subtlety, Tommy nudged Techno’s axe further away with his foot, not really looking forward to get stabbed. He’ll just have to comfort him in another way, he supposes.

“Techno? Techno, can you hear me?” Tommy got a panicked hum in response, Techno’s nose twitching rapidly. “A-Alright, I need you to breathe with me here, okay? Smooth and steady, like before a spar yeah?”

Techno shuddered violently, his head dropping back down to his chest. Still, Tommy heard his breathing lengthen slightly, though still irregular. 

“Can I- I’m going to grab your hand, is that okay?” When there was no definite no, Tommy slowly laid his gloved hand in one of Techno’s without protest, and started to tap out a rhythm with his thumb. When he taps, inhale, when he rubs, exhale. Techno caught on quick enough, but Tommy’s mind was still reeling, his mouth uttering reassurances with little filter.

What now?

_“Tommy? What’s wrong, mate? What happened?” Philza’s voice was as soft as the hand smoothing out his hair in an attempt to calm him._

Right! He needs to figure out what went wrong. Techno was cutting down trees, a branch hit him and he fell down into the snow. Really, if it’s anything it’ll be the branch, he doesn’t have an issue with cold weather anymore, but frankly the branch is sort of pathetic. Tommy could probably manage lifting it with one hand, it’s hardly scary enough to take out the server’s greatest warrior.

Tommy looked up, trying to see where it fell from. Some exposed bark near the top of the tree, it snapped pretty high up. Maybe a bird landed on it? Has Techno ever been afraid of birds? Now he’s just being stupid, isn’t he?

The branch fell from pretty high up. Maybe it just shocked him? It might have hit him on the head. Wait.

_“A fucking anvil?” Tommy said, the Arctic air forcing him to cough through his laughter. “What is he, a cartoon character?”_

_Ranboo rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle, his eyes shooting back down nervously to Techno’s cottage and back to Tommy. Or Tommy’s forehead, the guy really doesn’t do eye contact. “Yeah, it, uh, it was Quackity’s idea. Tubbo wanted the execution to be public.”_

_Tommy frowned. “Tubbo’s idea? That… doesn’t sound like him.”_

_“Yeah, I mean, he said it was payback for Jschlatt’s festival, whatever that means.”_

_A concrete cage, a crackling of fireworks and far too much blood flashes in Tommy’s mind, and he hears the echoes of his brother’s hysterical laughs. He had never forgiven Technoblade for killing his friend like that, but for Tubbo himself to retaliate…_

_“But he didn’t die?”_

_“No! Or well, I don’t think so anyway. It hit him, but he didn’t die or if he did it was like he respawned in the exact same place. Tubbo said it was a totem of undying, but honestly I have no idea how those things work, so. Yeah.”_

“Oh shit…” Tommy whispered under his breath, blood draining a little bit. Techno got _hit_. The totem revived him, but he still…

The anvil must have been pretty high.

Tommy has already lost two of his lives, but after both of them he had L’Manburg to focus on, and his friends to take his mind off of it; they’d all been killed because of Eret’s betrayal after all, so there was a mutual understanding that went through the group.

But dying was still _scary._ That feeling didn’t just go away, and Techno’s had to deal with it all by himself, and Tommy certainly hasn’t been helping by terrorising his house immediately after.

Techno seems like he’s calmed down somewhat, but stayed kneeled in the snow, his short panting creating some fog as he struggled to collect himself. Tommy ignored the small drops falling from Techno’s face into the snow, instead rubbing his brother’s shoulder gently. 

“A-Alright, big man, let’s take it easy, okay?” Tommy’s voice wavered slightly. “You’re not in L’Manburg, you’re in the Arctic. You’re away now. You’re safe.” Techno shook, probably not from the cold. 

“Hnng. It’s… loud, Tommy. They’re all so loud.” What?

“I-I know, Techno.” He really doesn’t, it’s dead quiet out here apart from the two of them. 

“I’ve never…” Techno’s hands dug into the snow with a small crunch. “I’ve never been _helpless_ before, Tommy.”

Tommy’s been helpless. He’s been helpless plenty of times. He’d be unwilling to admit it but he’s probably powerless more often than not, and the past few months, hell the past few _weeks_ have definitely brought attention to that. 

But Technoblade has never been helpless. When they were younger, the piglin was practically the same, if smaller and fractionally less bloodthirsty, but above all he was independent. The Blade, he’s always seemed so immovable, and Tommy didn’t even think that death would phase him. 

“You’re not. You’re not helpless.”

“I _was_ , Tommy! They attacked me and stole my horse, and my stuff, and took me back to L’Manburg in chains and I couldn’t do _anything!_ And there was no trial, no justice and Philza and Wilbur were watching, they had to watch and the- Quackity pulled the trigger and the voices wouldn’t stop _screaming_ , and I _died,_ Tommy, I died and I only got out because I got helped by-“ he cut himself off, breathing heavily through his nose. Was that what was wrong? That he needed to be helped?

“It’s... okay to get help.” The words felt strange coming out of Tommy’s mouth. What is he doing, comforting Technoblade? Any somewhat emotional moments he had in their makeshift family tended to be with Phil or Wilbur but this, with Techno, it’s just so new, it’s so _weird_.

Techno shook his head, avoiding his gaze. “I’m not supposed to need it.”

“Well, okay, maybe not normally, but if you do then you can take it, Techno! It’s only fair, now. You’ve helped me out here, like, a fucking _lot_ , you’ve given me a place to say, you’ve given me things,” Techno had a short laugh at that, “And you covered for me with Dream. With Dream!”

“That’s different, Tommy.”

“How? How is it different.” He demanded.

“You’re my…” Techno trailed off with a sigh. “You’re not me.”

Tommy scoffed. “Oh, come off it, Technoblade! Just because you’ve never needed help before doesn’t mean you’re fucking _immune,_ alright? I want to help you, at least to return the favour. You’re not helpless now, hell you weren’t really then, were you? You made it out, you kicked Big Q’s ass, Techno! You’re…” _the strongest person I know. My big brother._

Tommy had to stop himself, before he said too much. 

“I’ll help you.” Tommy repeated, pushing himself up from the ground.

Techno managed a weak chuckle. “Yeah?” He asked, in a voice that was too faint to be wry. “You would?”

Tommy thought about Dnret, the gapples, hiding from Dream in a tiny box, the armour, the potions. The bravery he got just from being near Techno, the _him-ness_ , going back to the nether, back to L’manburg.

He thought about Phil, supportive but far away, always so far away from them. He thought about Wilbur, and quickly stopped.

He thought about his brother, alone in a cage, alone in this cottage, alone in the entire world until now. Sparring with him when they were little, protecting them from mobs. Conquering the world with Philza, helping prepare Pogtopia for the worst.

Sitting here lonely in the snow with a bump on his head.

“We’ll… we’ll help each other, yeah?” 

Techno stared at him for a long moment before slowly reaching up to take his outstretched hand.

**Author's Note:**

> do nottt ask me what the title means i am just having fun here 
> 
> i believe in philza supremacy but the idea of tommy straight up forgetting he hung out with techno is the only reason this works here. love myself an unreliable narrator so the writing can be satisfying.
> 
> if you think anything needs tagged or needs a warning please give me a shout!!
> 
> mcyt tumblr: @[wewinbees](https://wewinbees.tumblr.com/)
> 
> post-festival2 notes: so can we hear an F in the chat for uhhh,,, yeah,,, everything i guess


End file.
